Sometimes after a crazy day of family mayhem, I look back at my behavior during the day and I hate what I see. I used to cringe at women that nagged their husbands all the time, whether in movies or in real life. I never understood why these women didn't see how petty and hurtful they seemed. That always bothered me. I got married late so I had many years of observing this behavior. It was something I always had in the back of my mind during my relationships. And when I met the man that I wanted to spend the rest my life with, I made a conscious decision to do what I could to not be that woman. That would never be me. I would never go there.
But, guess what? It happened. And I went there. Not at first, and not even after our first child but eventually it happened. When things get crazy and I'm frustrated, I nag and nag some more. There are chores to do, children to be dressed, fed, played with, taken to outings, the house needs repairs and on and on. I want it to all get done and so I nag. And then when I realize what I've been doing, I feel sad. Sad that I'm in any way hurting our precious time together as a family. So who's fault is that. Is it his for not anticipating what I think needs to get done? Or is it mine for not communicating my needs in a healthier way?
The truth is that it doesn't matter who's fault it is, what matters is that I don't want to be that woman. Not for one day or one hour or even one minute.
So even though I know that there will be times when I will nag my poor sweet husband (hopefully not many), I also know that in hurried times, I will try my best to take a deep breath, smile and realize that it will all get done somehow and we will do it together.
Secretary
3 hours ago
5 comments:
I had been there too, even that I hate it, and he has been there too, even that he apologize right away, so I guess it happen, at least we notice and we know we don't want to be like that, so we are half of the way!
Good night!
Rm
Great reminder. Chris always calls me "Bossy."
The fact that you are so self aware will guarantee that you do not become the nagging bitchy wife from hell...We all have our moments and have been there. Completely normal! I usually get this way at least once a month (and usually around that time of the month ; ) i hate to admit it but it's true!) From time to time things will get out of balance, not surprising when you are juggling so many things (husband, children, jobs, friends, etc...) it's normal! Expressing yourself and letting go is part of the rebalancing. Everything will get done in the end....do by not doing!
TLBM
p.s. great post. you are on the mark!!!
TLBM
One thing I have learned about my DH is not that he is lazy #(*$ and just ignoring what needs to be done - but that he really just doesn't know and/or think about it. One thing that has worked for me, is to make/keep a list of what has to be done around the house and post it where we both can see it. It has made him more aware, and he actually has done more stuff!
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